when you were little, the mother would always tell you to become a doctor, engineer,lawyer or whatever huge-pay-check job she can think of and you end up dreaming of becoming a spiderman, cool child detective or in my case the blue flashman.
[i always have this fantasy of me and my cuzzy saving the world in flashman supercool suit. Ijam (the eldest cousin) was the red one, wan the green one, amoi and ida were the yellow and the pink one respectively.we will gathered at nenek's house during the weekend and pretending like saving the world.all the cushions will be arranged into our so called base and hanger was our ultimate weapon..and of course end of the day 'cik mah' (our most fierce auntie)will run amok around the house with our so called'ultimate weapon' and hit us one by one for messing up the house.[-_-"]..so innocent kannn yet it was cool back then.i miss them.=D..off topic!]
we are the flashman from Mukah!
after some years, they send you to school and there you begin to think of money and girls. then you decide you'll become rich and famous because you know you are not jonathan rhyse meyer handsome type nor you posses any of taylor lautner juicy parts that you can attract any girls in school. so you pick one of those things your mother told you as your future career with mountain hopes that it will give you an amazing future.
me in 10 years....pffttttt!!
so you work really hard. you are positive hard work gonna pay you cash some day. luckily enough you have good brain. so you scored every single exams. you are always on top. the world is on your finger tip and you determine enough to succeed. there are times along the way you stumble, but still you wake up walking then running as fast as you can to reach your end point. you fall again. but you never give up just like a child learning to walk. you are flattered when people around you start to look up at you, talking about your successes. you are fortunate indeed you have your family supports and you have best friends that you consider your family behind your back. you feel blessed...
but you keep walking.to follow wherever it brings you. and you meet a new person. this time around it is different.you have intense feeling.a strange one. the one that makes you want to wake up and never go to sleep again. you are in love. everything is so perfect you tell yourself. you are high and addicted. but every dreams have a wake up call.....
bangun!bangun! sahur!!!!
then you realize, love has a hidden truth. it never always come with a happy moments without bringing along the ugly side. you feel like you are the only one who sacrifices a lot. you have doubt. then you meet the family,the friends and you freak out.you have even deeper doubt because its hard for you to fit in because they are just different from you. then "mr money" sneaks in and you both have problem with him. your doubt is at the deepest. you argue, you cry,you fight. you long for someone else who can give you security. who can stand up for you when you need it although it is against the family or friends. the one who is not only showing you the love but proving it to be worth it.you have second thought.
i am the best baby!!
suddenly, when conquering the world is just a step away, you are exhausted. you feel, the end point never has ending. you slow down. along the line, you meet new people.your so called best friends have their own path.you are on your own. you start to view the world from a different angle. "life is not all about how many A's you can bag at school" you tell yourself and "friendship is only part of flashman world" you said. you encounter junctions in your journey and you don't know what path to take. you become afraid of making mistakes. all the dreams you have are shattered. you are the firm believer of no happy ending. you have doubt in you and you missed the old you. the not-so-cool you yet with dreams and hopes. the nerdy you but with purpose in life.
what is blowjob people??
but you keep walking.to follow wherever it brings you. and you meet a new person. this time around it is different.you have intense feeling.a strange one. the one that makes you want to wake up and never go to sleep again. you are in love. everything is so perfect you tell yourself. you are high and addicted. but every dreams have a wake up call.....
bangun!bangun! sahur!!!!
then you realize, love has a hidden truth. it never always come with a happy moments without bringing along the ugly side. you feel like you are the only one who sacrifices a lot. you have doubt. then you meet the family,the friends and you freak out.you have even deeper doubt because its hard for you to fit in because they are just different from you. then "mr money" sneaks in and you both have problem with him. your doubt is at the deepest. you argue, you cry,you fight. you long for someone else who can give you security. who can stand up for you when you need it although it is against the family or friends. the one who is not only showing you the love but proving it to be worth it.you have second thought.
the fight that never has ending..
but you choose to stay. you don't want to be selfish because you know the person loves you intensely.and you do.you understand everyone has their own problem. so you sacrifice because you know love needs sacrifice.you believe in second chance.
pleaseee another round baby~~~
ironically, you change. you want to be successful again. you have big dreams once again. but this time around it is not all about you. your dream includes your family and your loved one. you want to secure their future. you want them to be happy. and you start to run again......
and you tell yourself, life ain't easy..life's cruel too.keep running..and never giving in because god is fair. He promised to grant success for those who works hard. its a promise and who are you to decide what the end point will be without even trying...
and at some point you learned, no matter how much has been missing along the way, you know you cant turn back and find them. but you knew, the journey is far enough for you to grab new things and replace the missing one. it might not be the same, but it is you that matters...=)
you beg your heart to be strong because you know this is what love is all about.
pleaseee another round baby~~~
and you tell yourself, life ain't easy..life's cruel too.keep running..and never giving in because god is fair. He promised to grant success for those who works hard. its a promise and who are you to decide what the end point will be without even trying...
and at some point you learned, no matter how much has been missing along the way, you know you cant turn back and find them. but you knew, the journey is far enough for you to grab new things and replace the missing one. it might not be the same, but it is you that matters...=)
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